He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
