your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
