Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
