My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
