Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
