margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Define "chronic" masturbator.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
