There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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