the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize