I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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