honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
