Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
