I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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