Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
