Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
