You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
