Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
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It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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