This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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