Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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