she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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