She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
