Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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