yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
