I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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