I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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