It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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