we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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