just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
