He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
porn star boner night. come get it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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