He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
