4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
