Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
