we should wear snuggies to the strip club
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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