There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
