how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
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You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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