at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
