He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
