Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize