Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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