You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
