I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
