Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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