I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
pray to the hookup gods
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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