Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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