I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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