He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
