How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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