entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
