So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
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I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
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My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize