nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
