she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
