dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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