i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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