i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
