Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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