Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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