you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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