It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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