So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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