We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
