I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
