We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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