I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
