I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
