I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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