dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.