:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
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Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread