If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all