Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

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(218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus http://tfl.nu/il4r

Replies (12) Good night (1191) Bad night (1438)
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(914): View more from New York

i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"

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(914): i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie" http://tfl.nu/2g0i

Replies (11) Good night (921) Bad night (1695)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

omg no way im finding him!

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.

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(215): drug dealer added me on facebook, win ? (1-215): omg no way im finding him! (215): he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke. http://tfl.nu/whoh

Replies (114) Good night (2018) Bad night (9283)
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(315): View more from New York

just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again

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(315): just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again http://tfl.nu/dkz6

Replies (15) Good night (1185) Bad night (3986)
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(404): View more from Georgia

you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.

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(404 ): you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood. http://tfl.nu/0x0h

Replies (11) Good night (833) Bad night (4929)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes

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(419): I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes http://tfl.nu/4b4j

Replies (16) Good night (8028) Bad night (877)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

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(978): i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite. http://tfl.nu/yk7i

Replies (22) Good night (8307) Bad night (829)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.

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(773): Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth. http://tfl.nu/gnm7

Replies (3) Good night (1928) Bad night (817)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt

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(732): Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt http://tfl.nu/9gi1

Replies (23) Good night (3269) Bad night (897)
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(760): View more from California

Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.

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(760): Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t. http://tfl.nu/80lo

Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (613)
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(720): View more from Colorado

So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.

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(720): So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword. http://tfl.nu/ujgp

Replies (15) Good night (2060) Bad night (663)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.

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(403): Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single. http://tfl.nu/dae6

Replies (4) Good night (1126) Bad night (773)
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(206): View more from Washington

My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating

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(206): My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating http://tfl.nu/ns48

Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (469)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?

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(202): Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance? http://tfl.nu/xp3g

Replies (5) Good night (895) Bad night (383)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.

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(563): Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius. http://tfl.nu/fysj

Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (177)

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