Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
